Waiting for You

Clarice POV

Hannibal. You’re name has left me with scars far too deep for the mortal eye to view and your actions have left images that I fear are burned into my head. And yet every second I am away from you I feel like something in me is missing.

A person can go into your life and mean absolutely nothing, and in my years with the FBI I have learned it is better that way, but there’s something within me that can not release you from my thoughts.

I yearn to be with you, to have you here beside me and to never be without you again. Every time you touched me before my body was set on fire, every fiber in me calling out your name. If only I could truly feel this again.

'Who am I kidding? You’ll never return. Not to someone as unimportant as I am.

'That night you sacrificed yourself to save me from feeling pain, and why I am still unsure.'

I saw love in your eyes for the first time that night, when you refused to cause me pain. Though, now thinking back, the thought of the pain you must have felt hurts me more than the pain must have hurt you.

My God, why can’t I release myself from you?

I hold tight to me the latest note you have sent. It tells me nothing, only that you are now near by, and that you feel the way I do now as well: you love me. At first the feeling was one sided, nothing but hate and fear when I hear your name, but now something’s different, I’m different.

I sit alone at night and think of your name, your latest note spread out in front of me, reading and rereading your note, until finally I drift off into an uneasy sleep filled with images of you.

I sit, doing just that, listening to the night through the window that I opened, deciding the room had been too stuffy.

I look over at the digital clock, the red light illuminating the envelope that the latest letter came in. The clock says it’s eight o’ clock, but it seems so much later.

Just then a soft, but demanding knock bounces through the house, breaking the still silence. I did move after what happened, the money that the bureau gave me allowed this to happen. They called the money compensation, I call it pity.

I stand up just as the knock resonates through the house a second time, this time more demanding.

"I’m coming, hold on!" I yell as I fly down the stairs.

As I come to the door and look through the small window, and the sight stops me dead.

'It can’t be! You aren’t here; this is my mind playing tricks on me.'

I open the door partially and my thoughts are proven wrong, for there you are for all to see.

"Hello, Clarice," your voice is like a chorus of angels in my ears.

"Doctor…" my voice dies as I open the door completely.

"How are you, Clarice?" he tilts his head, his maroon gaze piercing into my own.

"I’m…" I think through the answer I was about to say: 'I’m fine.' If I said that I would be lying, so I change my mind, "I missed you."

He smiles and I step out of the doorway, "Please, come in, it’s sold out here."

"Thank you," his words send a shiver down my spine and all I want is to hear him speak again.

He gently and swiftly moves inside and I shut the door behind him. Caught instantly in the darkness of my house I can no longer see him, but I can feel him moving around, like a cat, unhindered by the darkness. I want to follow him, but I don’t know where he is.

He speaks and I turn to his voice, "You don’t really know how easy it was to track you, with your mail being forwarded and the story making the news. Did you think it would be hard?"

I laugh slightly, "No, actually I was surprised that it took you as long as it did to contact me."

A silence falls, and I can tell he’s smiling.

"Doctor Lecter, you don’t know how much I’ve missed you!" I finally call out into the darkness, not even sure if I’m still looking in his direction.

When he responds I realize I wasn’t, "Oh, Clarice I think I do," all of a sudden I feel his arm wrap around me from behind and press my back to his stomach, "for I have missed you as well."

The words are sweeter to my ears than any other sound before. I lean back into his embrace and I move my arms to hold his.

My hand brushes past where his hand should be, and when I realize that this is the hand he chopped off I quickly whisper, "I’m sorry."

He hushes me, "Clarice, shh, it’s alright now."

"Doctor Lecter…" I start.

"Please, Clarice, just Hannibal. Doctor Lecter is too formal for friends," is that all we are?

I turn in his arms and face him, a determined glow in my eyes as I see my reflection in his, "Please, Hannibal, I have thought of you so much. I’ll admit it, at first I only thought of you with disgust, but then there was something more: love. I love you, Hannibal."

"My dear, Clarice," he can think of no other response and the thought gives em strength, I stumped Doctor Hannibal Lecter!

He holds me tighter, his only hand in my hair, pressing me against his chest. I can hear him smelling my hair and I can feel him pressing against my stomach. I don’t know which makes me blush, but I can tell I’m doing so by the sudden heat in my face, and a little lower as well.

He buries his head in the crook of my neck and I slowly turn my face so we look each other in the eyes. Slowly our faces move even closer than before, until finally there is a mere millimeter between our lips. I breathe in the air he breathes out and soon I don’t have to worry, for our lips are locked in a searing kiss. Our mouths meet and dance across each other’s in a sensual battle. I feel his tongue enter my mouth and I can taste him, a mix of fine wine and something more that no other would ever have.

When our lips part we are both gasping for air.

"Clarice, I think that this should continue somewhere a little more private then a front hall," he offers his arm, which I gladly accept. He leads me up the stairs and with the way that he navigates I would swear he has been here before, not that the fact would surprise me.

He leads me back into the bedroom where moments before I pined for him, and leads me back to the bed where his last note still lays.

He picks up the note and carefully sets it aside, leading me to lay down on my back. He then slowly maneuvers on top of me, though I can still see the difficulty in holding himself up with one hand.

I quickly take advantage of this and flip him over, hungry to have him fast. He does not fight it and so I start to undo the buttons of his shirt, one by one. Then I do the same with my robe as he shrugs off his shirt. I quickly throw the robe off to the side, leaving me naked above him. He looks at me with his searching eyes.

"What are you doing, Hannibal?" my voice is a purr.

"Trying to remember your perfection," he answers in a still even tone. I make a mental note to break his composure.

I smoothly run my hand over his now bare chest, then move lower to his pants. As my hands start to go to work releasing him I brush over him and he lets out a groan. I smile and quickly remove the rest of his clothing.

Now with both of us free I lean over and he catches my mouth in a deep kiss.

I break the kiss, positioning myself just right, and thrust him into me.

"Clarice," his voice has broken with pleasure and I smile.

I rhythmically move us closer to the limit and we both come at the same time, crying each other’s name into the still night.

This is when I remember the still open window and find myself smiling.

I collapse beside him and he takes me into his arms.

"You don’t know how long I’ve wanted that, Hannibal," I whisper.

"Oh, Clarice, I think I have an idea," with his words I feel myself slowly drift off to sleep.